Nate's master's degree, in retrospect

Nate here. Michelle had the great idea of recording a couple thoughts about the last three years of my master's program at the University of Utah. So I'll start with one low and one high. The worst part of the whole experience was trying to squeeze classes and homework into a schedule already full to overflowing with a full-time job (and sometimes overtime), family responsibilities, commuting from home two counties away, church obligations, a yard that will never be under control, etc. Because I ride the train into Salt Lake I don't have a car at work, so I was stuck on the bus or light rail to get to the university and back downtown to work. I always, always, ALWAYS tried every scheme imaginable to cut down on commuting time. The worst was when I had a late-night class and had to catch the 9:00 train or have to wait until 10:00 for the next one. It stressed me out to no end. I tried biking, I tried bus-hopping to save time, and I sometimes asked classmates I barely knew to take pity on me and drive me to the train station. The low point was probably late one winter night when I was on the light rail and knew I wouldn't make it by 9:00, so I got off and started running the 6 blocks to the train. I didn't make it.

There have been many wonderful things about my studies, though. I've learned to think more critically, write more clearly, and verbalize my thoughts more coherently (though I'm still not very good at the latter). Most importantly, I've learned to consider viewpoints different from my own. We all have a natural tendency to listen to voices that confirm our own beliefs and ideology, but I don't think I'll ever be able to approach an issue without considering the many sides and many voices engaged with the issue. I think that's what the humanities is for, at its core - to learn empathy.

One of the best experiences: I took a letterpress class last fall, where I learned to typeset with metal type and then print using 19th-century techniques. The course was a 6000-level art class, and it was a real challenge. I spent many long Saturdays in the letterpress studio, much to my family's dismay. It always took more time than I thought it would, and I often had to settle for what I thought was mediocre work because I just had to get home or get back to work. But I got an A, and the professors seemed genuinely impressed with my work. And I was walking through the library the day of the graduation, I saw not one, but TWO of my projects included in a display advertising the course. I felt honored to be picked to represent the class, and I felt like it was a sign that even though I had to cut corners on projects, skip several readings in every class, pull all-nighters to finish papers at the last minute, and pass up extracurricular activities connected to the program, I had managed to leave my mark and excel in some way.

From Michelle: Well I wasn’t there to witness all the running and sweating, etc. I just held down the fort. Here’s a bad and a good from my end of it all.

The bad: Several of Nate’s classes were during his normal workday, so that means we’d see him a half hour later than usual in the evening. He’s gone before we’re up in the mornings, so whether he left at 4:15 or 5:45 it was all the same to me on that end. Evenings after a long day with little ones are kind of tough, though, and I tend to be running on empty, so sometimes that last half hour seemed insurmountable. Those days beat the pants off Wednesdays, though. It seems that all the classes that he had in the evening were on Wednesdays. For a year and a half of the past 3 I’ve been in Young Women, which meets every Wednesday night. I’d survive the day with the little ones, throw dinner together during Curious George (thank you PBS for airing it at 5:00), fight them through it, and then run around frantically throwing supplies for the activity in one bag and every item I can think of that might entertain the kids for at least 30 seconds into another bag, which was without fail too small, so stuff was always falling out of it. We’d show up to the activity five minutes late looking like we were there for a week long vacation with all our baggage and with spaghetti crusted to our faces or shirts and I would try my hardest to at least say hello to a girl or two while my toddler ran down the hall and my infant screamed for an hour and a half. I wondered a lot of the time why I even went. Then the activity would end and I’d schlep a load of girls home, head home myself, and find dirty dishes and a tornado of a house waiting for me and here we are an hour past bedtime. Kids in bed as fast as possible and off to try to get some dishes done before Nate got home around ten. But I honestly think the day after that was even harder. The kids went without seeing Daddy from 8:00 Tuesday night to 6:00 on Thursday, which means I was on duty that whole time too. We came to call Wednesday and Thursday the “one-two punch.” I was so burned out by the end of it.

The good: Not so much an event as the sense that I’ve come out of the last three years a stronger person as an individual and as a mom. I think it’s Elder Oaks that talks about “excruciating growth.” My shoulders have been strengthened and shaped for my particular burden, and I have borne it – not even half the time with grace, but I’ve carried it the whole way. And I’ve learned a lot about myself and my needs in the process and Nate and I have learned a lot about how to fill them.

Here's a list of some of the major life events that happened over the course of the MA program:

-1 baby born

-1 house purchased

-3 major surgeries and 4 hospitalizations for Nate

-Church responsibilities including young women's president (Michelle) and ward membership clerk and elder's quorum secretary (Nate)

-1 totaled car

-1 exploded lawn mower

-1 trip to Havasupai, 1 to Disneyland, 5 to Georgia, and 10+ to St. George

-4 volumes of The Joseph Smith Papers published and 1 index compiled

Pics from graduation:

Mom and Dad took us to Tucano's for some delicious Brazilian cuisine. Here Bryn is sampling the limeade and toasting Grandpa's good health.