Rantings from a Crazed Lunatic

Well here we are, two days from baby #4's due date. My body is trying in every way to convince me that yes, the baby will be here soon. My mind, on the other hand, is beginning to leave me. You can only take so many nights of late-pregnancy sleep before that begins to happen. Last night I dreamed I was in a long line of girls in hospital gowns (they all looked about 20 years old), waiting to have babies. And everyone had their baby except for me. It was crushing. And then I had to wake up and still be pregnant.

Pretty much I'm really really tired, really sore, and really just ready to be out of this holding pattern and move on with life. The kids are very patient with me, for the most part, but let's be serious, they just don't understand. They have really been enjoying the tirade of mommy-has-no-desire-to-cook dinners, though. Last week we had pizza three times! And bean burritos and spaghetti, I think. No complaints about that from anyone.

Nate is rocking the house by being home whenever possible, and being very understanding when I am ridiculous. Today he worked from home in the morning and made breakfast and lunch for everyone. And last night when he got home and I was a complete wreck, he scooped up the kids and headed to the duck pond for an hour and a half or so, giving me space to lay on the bed and watch What Not to Wear while crying intermittently. What a guy.

I've been trying to walk a little every day. I took the girls on a short one this morning, and by the time I got home I'd decided that I will never take a walk again for two reasons. 1. All my joints are really loose and sore (which is totally a sign that go time is approaching, looking on the bright side) 2. In the total of about 1 mile that I've walked today, FIVE, count 'em five people popped their head out the door or turned their cars around or yelled from their porches to express incredulity at the fact that the baby hasn't arrived yet and ask if there's been any progress. I think I need a fake mustache and some big sunglasses or something. What do they want me to say to that question? Do they really want juicy details on my nether regions? Even if they do, I'd rather not share with all the world. I definitely sound like a jerk, I think. Don't get me wrong, I love all our neighbors, but I am simply not right in the head at the moment. I'm sure we'll all forgive each other in a month or so.

And a photo. Two items of interest other than the obvious one. 1. My wedding rings are on a chain around my neck because I have sausage fingers. A definite first. 2. You see those eyebrows? As an early baby gift, my friend Mindy sent me to this fancy Australian lady who has done Nicole Kidman's eyebrows, to have them done. She even watched my kids for me. I don't think I've ever felt so fancy. Or out of my element. So feel free to zoom in on 'em, because they're flawless, baby.